she's such a charmer; oh no!

THIS LOOKS LIKE THAT: OLGA SHERER & DEBORAH ANN WOLL

2011-09-27T10:57:00.000-04:00

Olga Sherer, established fashion model, and the ever popular True Blood star Deborah Ann Woll are two red heads that look so a like. All the facial features are the same, giving both such an eerie and innocent beauty.

THIS LOOKS LIKE THAT: STAM & BUNDCHEN

2011-08-22T17:48:00.005-04:00

This photo of Stam is from the September issue of Flare. For me, these are some of the nicest photos of her I've ever seen, and one of the best editorials the magazine has put out in a long time. Every shot is striking, kudos to photographer Max Abadian and the rest of the team. See the whole editorial here.

This shot of Bundchen is from an editorial for i-D shot by Emma Summerton. It reminded of the Flare spread immediately, mainly on account of the shoes, socks, and background. Further analysis I noted the ruffles and touching of the head (bow and hair).

Post script: It's nice to see Gisele modeling clothes again.

JANIS JOPLIN - TO LOVE SOMEBODY

2011-08-05T09:48:00.002-04:00

Janis has been one of my favourite artists for a very long time. I recently watched some segments of her on Dick Cavett, and despite knowing very well how incredible she was, I was blown away all over again by this video. Been playing this song on vinyl for the past few days. Love.

THIS LOOKS LIKE THAT: 70's GLAM; ARIZONA MUSE & CHOLE SEVIGNY

2011-08-05T09:04:00.001-04:00

Arizona Muse has been all over the fashion scene lately and the more I see her, the more I like her. Although this is by no means one of the better images of her (severely doesn't do her justice, at all), it does remind me of a spread Chloe did for British Vogue in 2004. That hair, 70's glam, sparkly outfits and lighting, all very similar.

Vogue India, August 2011 shot by Patrick Demarchelier

Chloe Sevingy for British Vogue 2004, shot by Glen Luchford

THIS LOOKS LIKE THAT: THOSE LEATHER PANTS

2011-07-27T13:11:00.001-04:00

This one is on account of the pants, but I suppose you can also draw other parallels like the mysterious tone and darkness of each image.

This is an old favourite of Daria and Claudia is looking mighty good.

BUMTOWN

2011-07-18T11:18:00.001-04:00

My friend Adam has been working on a show with some friends during their spare time. I love and support when people pursue the things that excite them, and I wanted to share the video they have up online.

Seems like a ton of work has gone into this, and as far as I know they are planning to get a bunch of episodes up this year.

Congrats to the Bumtowners, and I'm looking forward to seeing more :)

DISQUIET: DZANC BOOKS INTERNATIONAL LITERARY PROGRAM - MY TRIP TO LISBON!

2011-07-11T14:18:00.000-04:00

June 19th - July 2nd was spent in Lisbon, Portugal. Andrea and I took part in a literary program put on my Dzanc Books, where we work-shopped with the incredible Brian Evenson and rubbed elbows with lots of other established writers, like Frank Gaspar and Colson Whitehead.

The trip was jam packed with events, readings, excursions, and for the most part a lot of really really really late nights dancing, boozing and trying not to fall on the cobblestones. Aside from the motivation and encouragement the trip provided for myself as a writer, it was also just a really great break from life.

My husband and our friend Ryan came along (but didn't take part in the course) and took a few days on their own to see outside of Lisbon. Dave came back with lots of great photos and stories, and Ryan, well, he brought back an incredible sunburn. We're all still trying to recover from that one.

Here are some choice images from the trip:

Dave and I shared a twin room consisting of two single beds pushed together, a chair, two night tables and three hooks. Lived out of the suitcase for two weeks. This was the first day, and Dave was already mapping out his next steps. Grassi still had dark hair at this point.

Lisbon is full of amazing tiles. Many buildings are missing whole sections because the tiles are often stolen and sold at the Thieves Market.

We hiked all the way up to this beautiful look out point. I want orange shingles on my next house.

Their idea of graffiti.

This is Tanya, she was an administrator. She wore her hair up a lot and I didn't realize she has these awesome raccoon tails until half way through the trip.

Sintra, so beautiful.

This is Liz Love (that's her real name). She has her feet up, always.

Sintra

We wanted to go all the way up and into the castles but we were only in Sintra for a couple hours. The tour they provided was a bust so we paid for a horse and carriage ride to take us around. View from the back of the horses.

Andrea and Aerin on the horse and carriage ride.

The horsies!

Alfama, the oldest district in Portugal. Every inch of it is insanely gorgeous.


Lots of the Alfama streets have these decorations, I never got to the bottom of it.

Alfama at night.

Fado is a popular music genre in Portugal, characterized by really emotional, almost mournful lyrics and music. Pictured here is a Fado bar we went to in Alfama, where different singers get up and sing, accompanied by a guitarist. Very beautiful, soulful music. Check out Amalia Rodrigues, a singer and actress who is responsible for making Fado so popular.

Not sure where we took this...


Bairro Alto is a part of Lisbon dating back to the 16th century. Traditionally it's been the heart of the city's artists and writers. Our hostel was a five minute walk from here and this is how packed it is every single night. People grab a drink and then party in the streets til 8am.


A very cool looking bar with bok choy light fixtures, gorgeous bartenders and extremely overpriced drinks.

We ended up at this bar, Oslo, three times. It played the exact same playlist every time and had the smallest dance floor in the world. It was way too much fun.

Colson Whitehead, Dave and Scott Laughlin, sometime around 4am.

Nights at Oslo ended with plaid shirts that looked like this. Dave, Scott, Parker and Brian.

Another jam packed street.

Dinner on our last night, curb side. Beer, potato chips and some type of hot pocket (not pictured). Me, Aerin, Grassi.

Dave and Fernando Pessoa.

Ryan, Grassi, Me.

The streets in Lisbon are extremely slippery, but really beautiful at night. They always appear wet.

The ass/leg workout we got was incredible. Stairs and hills everywhere.

More graffiti.

A cafe.


Vintage shopping with Katie, Grassi and Aerin.

Me, Parker, Colson, Grassi, Aerin. Celebrating our awesomeness.

Sometime in the early morning.

The Dudes: Frank Gaspar, Jeff Parker, Scott Laughlin, Brian Sousa, Colson Whitehead, Brendan Bowles, David Beaty.

Some guy I met.

Just another awesome street.

We went to a screening of the film, Lovebirds, here we are with John Frey, actor/writer.

Dave; explorer.

A typical meal in Lisbon. Seabass and sardines are my favourite, I ordered them everywhere I went.

Grassi and I before the farewell party. One guy actually thanked me for wearing this dress.

View from the Chiado Hotel rooftop. (Overlooks our hostel).


Aerin, Grassi and I with Brian Evenson. He's such a king.

Thieves Market. Only open Tuesdays and Saturdays. So much amazing stuff.

Lastly, the writing: I work-shopped two stories which are now in the process of being re-worked/tweaked/edited. Both were well received and it was a real honour to have Evenson be a part of the writing process. For now here are the titles and a small bit from each:

On Account of the Coconut
" From one entire half, the bigger of the two, the shell was completely removed, leaving the meat in one, perfect dome like piece. It was a glorious chunk, so glorious in fact he came running into the washroom with it, pulled back the shower curtain and showed it to me.

I admit, I was happy for him."

The Princess and the Pebble
" “If you don’t want to believe me, than that’s your fucking problem. Obviously I can have a healthy sex life on my own so I don’t need to sit here and let you accuse me of being nuts.” Did I call her nuts? I don’t recall even calling her nuts."

Lets hope they end up somewhere amazing.

WHO I'M LOOKING AT

2011-07-11T11:19:00.000-04:00

I watched the first half of The American the other night and just wanted to post a photo of Violante Placido, one of the actresses in the film, just because I think she's so beautiful.

I should also mention, George Clooney is aging so wonderfully....damn.

I do want to finish the entire film, it's filmed in Pescara, Abruzzo, where my in-laws are from. I've yet to go there, but will, someday.

THIS LOOKS LIKE THAT: FROM THE BACK

2011-07-07T10:35:00.000-04:00

THIS LOOKS LIKE THAT: KATE IN BED

2011-07-04T12:00:00.000-04:00

ABOUT ME!

2011-06-15T22:50:00.001-04:00

Back in the day, Mil was like, "check out my About Me page" and I was all, "seriously, I don't get this stuff - could people BE anymore self absorbed?" And she was like, "well, it just makes life easier, having all your links and contacts in one place," and I was still, "ummm, still seems really self absorbed. I don't get it."

And now, months later, with a personal blog, twitter page, company website, another site I work for, Vimeo page and Instagram profile, I'm all about About Me.

All over that shit.

I suppose it does make sense, having it all together in one spot. Plus I linked all my little cute stuff like being awesome at Tetris! So take a look and click on it all. (And, they offer free business cards - if my credit card wasn't declined I would have totally ordered those biatches...)

BUT, be forewarned, sometimes, someone will have already scooped up your name and put a dude's face in a red Ghostbuster's circle with a fork inside it. Seriously Gunhouse, WTF?

THIS LOOKS LIKE THAT: BIG FRAMES! (+ WHAT'S UP WITH ME)

2011-06-09T11:28:00.002-04:00

I've been sitting on this one for months now. Why haven't I blogged in a million years? It's hard to say. Busy I suppose. But here I am, with a This Look Like That post featuring amateur model Santa Borel rocking sexy specs (from Kill Magazine), a similar look and feel to this beautiful photo of Amanda Seyfried shot by Guy Aroch. Specs aside, its the bend in the arm, bodacious hair and overall vintage mood that did it for me.

The past few months have been wonderful, full of busyness, family functions and gigantic life changes. I've decided to focus on my writing - really focus - and will be leaving for Portugal on June 19th for the two week long Disquiet: Dzanc Books International Literary Program. I'll be accompanied by my husband, who won't be taking the course but instead, will soak up the rich Lisbon culture/beauty. Also coming along, my amazingly supportive writer friend, Andrea Grassi. (Gunhouse, so stoked for this trip, man).

My good friend and teacher, Jeff Parker, from my UofT Creative Writing class is running the program and suggested we go - with the years I've had I couldn't think of a reason not to. Plus, no better way to kick my ass into gear than two weeks full of:

Workshops in Poetry, Fiction, and Nonfiction
A Literary and Cultural program featuring contemporary Portuguese writers, lecturers, and thinkers
Literary walks, film screenings, and excursions
Faculty and guests including three Pulitzer Prize winners
Some of the most compelling and interesting writers working today, selected primarily on the basis of their strong reputations as teachers of writing and the arts

Upon my return, I'm going to use this summer as my time to write. We get extremely caught up in the day to day, and I find myself staring into the cubes of my calendar, noting how much time has passed. It's frustrating but I know that I'm my own boss and it's all about making choices.

So I'm quite looking forward to it, despite the copious amounts of editing I have to do before I leave next week. Roughly 350 pages of other students work. Not sure when, or how I will get this done, but I know it'll happen, somehow! Very much looking forward to it all.

Today I'm headed to the World Conference on Breast Cancer in Hamilton. They'll be screening our doc, I Don't Have Time For This, and asked us to be on the discussion panel to talk about our experience. It's the first time we'll all be together since the loss of both Crystal and Clare, so we're guessing it'll be an extremely emotional day.

The only other thing I've been focusing on is my health - Paleo and Crossfit have been amazing, but that is a post on it's own that requires far more mental power than I can use right now. Stay tuned.

And while I'm at it, lastly, Mil and I have some extreme Two Shaking to do! Check out our site www.twoshakes.ca and follow us on Twitter @twoshakesdotca.

ISN'T SHE LOVELY?

2011-06-07T13:53:00.004-04:00

My neighbours tooks some lovely photos in the morning at my sister's wedding. Just thought I'd share a few because, well, they are so nice!

What a beautiful creature. Monique Lhuillier gown, handmade belt and headpiece (recreated out of my mother's veil) crafted by my aunt Elvira (the one who made my wedding dress).

Left to Right: Cousin Sabrina, Elisa's sister-in-law Orsolina, Cousin Jen, Myself, and sweet Michela our cousin as the precious flower girl. Also note the incredible flowers.

Me and Davey!

WEDDING DANCING IS FUN: A MINI TWO SHAKES PRODUCTION

2011-06-06T13:42:00.000-04:00

My sister got married on the weekend. Needless to say, it was the second funnest wedding I've ever been to. I don't even have a proper photo to post, but I've got live motion. Mil, my Two Shakes counterpart, put this video together. It was such great dancing fun I lost a toe nail. Fer reaaalll.

Congrats again to my sister and new brother-in-law. Lots of love xo

Elisa & Tony's Wedding! from Two Shakes on Vimeo.

THIS LOOKS LIKE THAT: MADAME FIGARO APRIL 2011

2011-04-15T12:57:00.003-04:00

The April issue of Madame Figaro (a French magazine I've never heard of before) has a cover story on Daria, and many of the shots took me way back to her earlier work (and one made me think of Angelina!).

All images on the left are from the new editorial, shot by Satoshi Saikusa.

And a quick llittle video for added pleasure.

FIGHT FOR THE GIRLS

2011-04-13T11:08:00.000-04:00

I spoke out at a press conference yesterday for an event happening in May called Fight For The Girls that is being put on by the Breast Cancer Society of Canada and Sunnybrook’s Odette Cancer Center (which is where I've been and continue to be treated). Some of the nation’s top amateur boxers — and one boxing legend, who I had the honour of meeting and fake punching in the face, George Chuvalo —will be boxing in an effort to raise money for cancer.

Click here to read an article that was posted in The Sun today and watch a little clip, too.

HAPPY ALL OVER

2011-04-10T22:22:00.005-04:00

I managed to not be a complete mess at Natalie's wedding. She was a vision to say the very least. And it's not just the dress and hair and slammin' body. It was the happiness pouring out of her, it was so infectious. Look at these smiles:

Walking out of the house and into the pages of Vogue? Please note the confetti in the air...

I believe this is the exact moment she saw her hubs-to-be.

The priest was actually super funny and had beautiful things to say. Father Norm.

After church we went to the Eglington Grand. A nice change from the Italian banquet hall.

In honour of the formal venue, all the cousins decided to wear black (save for Jen, the MOH on the right). I love these broads.

Everyone looked gorgeous, but I have to do a detail shot/shout out here for my cousin Stefania - her mom assisted her in making this stunner (she's the aunt who made my wedding gown!) Totally chic and classic and incredibly well made. Fit her like a dream (that body and those arms certainly help).

This is one of my favourite photos, it totally captures her adoration and his nerves.

And another happy couple:

Had an amazing time, and can't wait for my sister's wedding in June. The Wedding Tour has officially begun!

THE BIG DAY IS HERE! NATALIE'S WEDDING :)

2011-04-07T17:06:00.000-04:00

My cousin Natalie is one of my favourite people on the planet/in the entire universe. We've grown up together, and it's rare to have people in your life that you have photos of like this:

We're only a few months apart and have always been super close. She even took me to her prom. (See photo below with her in the multi coloured dress and myself in the black strapless with the Gina hair, top middle).

Tomorrow, she's marrying this guy:

I'd like to attend her wedding make-up less because I'm fairly certain I'll just be a black wet mess - I spoke to her on the phone today and already started to cry. If there is anyone who deserves total and utter happinees, it's her. She's been in love with Matty forever and I can't wait for them to start this next part of their life, and hopefully we can have our babies at the same time! (Along with my sister and her babies, then we can all stay home and raise our kids, and the goal is that our children will be as close to their cousins as all my cousins are.)

So this is just to say how much I love her, and that I'm so excited for tomorrow. Stay tuned for wedding photos - I can't even imagine what she's going to look like. A supermodel bride, if I had to guess.

MOTHER, DEAREST

2011-03-31T13:56:00.000-04:00

My mother died six years ago today. Time has just bitch slapped us so quick, I think my entire family and our friends all share the sentiment, where the hell did the time go? Oddly enought it feels like yesterday and decades ago at the same time. Not having her around is surreal, I don't know if I'll ever fully recover from the loss but eveyday is about making her proud so it makes the weight of her absence a little lighter.

My wedding last year was of course a hard day without her there, but I was wrapped up in her wedding gown as well as all the memories and knowledge of what she would have wanted.

I think we did good.

I wish David could have met her, knowing that she would have loved him so much. He's seen plenty of home videos and I've spoken about her at length with him so he feels a connection to her depsite not having ever known her, which I think is beautiful.

I never want her death to be a sad thing, because she was so strong and we've all learned and gained so much from her, so I always try to only think of the good times and her hilarious laugh. I'm reminded and inspired by her daily, and love talking about her, which I think is truly important. (Crystal, Chantel, Lindsay, I know you guys totally relate - do you talk about your moms/dad often? Doesn't it help?)

Life is this way, unforgiving and complicated, but it's also incredible so live it up and go hug your mom.

TWO SHAKES!

2011-03-30T12:48:00.000-04:00

Mil and I are getting the ball rolling. It's coming together. More to come.

CHLOE SEVEN-E

2011-03-25T19:59:00.001-04:00

Here at home with Mil working away on some Two Shakes material - we're really getting back to our roots, being creative, just us two, on a Friday night - and we've just discovered via an article in Interview Magazine that Chloe Sevigny's last name is pronounced SEVEN-E. Not Seven-YAY.

Which is how we've said it since we knew of her existence.

Damn.

RIP LIZ TAYLOR

2011-03-23T11:45:00.002-04:00

"I'm in the middle of the biography of Elizabeth Taylor who in my opinion is one of the most misunderstood women in the history of Hollywood." - Melissa Di Pasquale

WE CANT TAKE THE FLAB ANYMORE

2011-03-16T23:20:00.000-04:00

I don't know if it's the menopause or the fact that I'm "getting older" but shit ain't the same anymore.

Now I want to make it clear straight out the gate that I am not in any way saying I'm fat or ugly or old - what I'm saying is that I USED to have a rock hard body, and now it feels (and in some parts of me looks) like this:

Growing up I was just skin and bones and ate like crap and never had any issues with my body. But now, since the cancer and chemo and meds and all that, things are just different. I'm guessing the fact that I'm not 15 anymore has a lot to do with it, too *eye roll*. For the most part I'm in good shape, I eat well and get lots of sleep and take the stairs. But I'm not actively working out. Back in my P90X days I was honestly rock hard - every part of me was tight and firm. I still had cellulite all over my ass but I've come to terms with the fact that it's always going to be a part of me. (I've had it my ENTIRE life, really. Four years old, squeezing my ass cheeks in the mirror saying, what the hell is wrong with my bum? It's all dimply. * questions marks floating in a halo around my head *)

ANYHOW, this post is merely here to say that I'm beginning a new regiment with the beautiful but slightly flabby/formerly firm Jenna Rocca. (She knows she's flabby, we've discussed it, that's why we're doing this). We're tired of feeling soft and not having the body we WANT, so we're going to work towards getting it. You know, instead of just sitting on our cellulite covered asses and talking about it.

So basically I figured if I blog it than it means we HAVE to do something. So here it is, an open promise to the public saying Hey, It's Time To Get In Better Shape. Because we aren't getting any younger, right?

BREAST CANCER DRUG HERCEPTIN NOT FUNDED IN ONTARIO

2011-03-11T10:58:00.001-05:00

There's been a lot of coverage in the paper the past week regarding a drug used for treating breast cancer that is NOT funded here in Ontario. In a nut shell, breast cancer can be, for some people, hormone sensitive, which means chemo and radiation sometimes aren't enough. This is why I'm currently in induced menopause, because estrogen was feeding the cancer, so they want to deplete me of the for the next few years to reduce recurrence. My cancer was also Her2 positive, so you might remember me writing about getting a treatment called Herceptin.

In Ontario Herceptin is only given to women who have a tumour larger than 1 centimetre - mine was just shy of that size so it wasn't funded for me. Luckily I had insurnace coverage by my employer, but I know that not everyone has that luxury. The drug not only costs approximately $40, 000, but when it isn't funded you also have to outsource where you get it and a place that will administer it.

Needless to say it's ridiculous that they are punishing women for finding their cancer TOO SOON.

The woman behind this media stir is Jill Anzarut, a 35 year old mother of two who has recently been diagnosed and in the same boat I was. She did it all right - self examined, found the lump, had it checked, everything we're told to do - and now she can't get coverage for the drug that will, as studies show, help decrease her recurrence.

She made front page of The Globe & Mail earlier this week and the story has continued to be told. I was contacted by the amazing team at Rethink Breast Cancer a few days ago, they asked me to come in and share my story. I went in to meet with them yesterday afternoon and the next thing I knew I was sitting in my condo with a reporter from The Globe & Mail and later photographed for a piece that ran this morning.

Unfortunately the Ontario Health Minister Deb Matthews isn't swayed by "well orchestrated media campaigns" and it seems Jill won't be getting the funding for the drug.

I took a snap of the story from my neighbours copy of the paper on my phone this morning so the quality is crap but you can read the article here.

If you guys could please head over to Rethink's blog and send Deb Matthew the form letter they've created it would be greatly appreciated. The only thing we can do is TRY to get them to change this policy, so please send the letter.

The thing I think a lot of people misunderstand or don't realize is that breast cancer (or any cancer) isn't just hair loss and surgery - there's such a psychosis behind it, how we feel, the mental stress and fear of it coming back, the toll on our bodies, our feelings, etc, so the last thing we should be worrying about it how to pay for treatment. Finances shouldn'y be an issue, especially since we live in a Country where we pay taxes should we ever need to be taken care of!

Wishing Jill and her family a shitload of stregnth and support, I really hope that in the future who ever has to go through this won't have to worry about money and just focus on recovering.

ME & A FAKE TAN ON THE MARILYN DENIS SHOW

2011-03-10T15:39:00.000-05:00

Last week I saw a tweet from Janine Falcon asking if anyone would try out a self tanner for a few days and then appear on The Marilyn Denis Show to showcase the results. Um, #1) I'm a ghost and any excuse to get a tan - whatever form it might come in - is already enough reason to volunteer. #2) Marilyn Denis - I grew up watching her on TV so to be on a segment with her was enough of a reason in itself, too. So I tweeted her back and next thing you know it's six days later and I'm on TV following a performance by Jordan Knight. (I didn't formally meet him but was at the rehearsal and he's so cute!!)

You can watch the clip for more info about my new tan and how to get it.

Now I would be a really bad cancer survivor if I didn't mention that there are parabens in the stuff I used. I normally wouldn't use chemical-based self tanners but in this case I figured six applications wouldn't really hurt. But I have discontinued using it, as the hormones in the formula can over time be harmful for me specifically because the type of cancer I had was hormone sensitive. I'm guessing that for the average person using this every once in a while, like anything else, is ok.

Big thank you to Janine for inviting me to the show, and also a big hello to Rebecca from Spinsterish who was also on the segment with me. Oddly enough, we all work on The Kit, so I hope to be in touch with them again soon! (Our next issues launches in a week or so).

Lastly, I'll be going to the show again next week to accompany the fantastic Chantel Simmons for a segment she's doing on hair. (I'll only be behind the scenes this time - maybe one of the Spice Girls will perform?) Be sure to tune in :)

CAROLA REMER

2011-03-07T23:19:00.000-05:00

This beautiful model has been compared to a young Kate Moss but to me she looks like a morph of Sofia Coppola and Lily Aldridge. Her eyes are so far apart! And those lips. Geeze.

RYAN KERR: ON GROWIN' UP

2011-03-07T13:30:00.000-05:00

Just want to share this video with everyone, a little glimps into why my friend Ryan wrote his incredible book, and the process of getting it out into the world!

Don't forget to come out to The Gladstone this Wednesday for his Cabaret Show! (see previous post for details).

Ryan, you're a hero, lots of love! xo

ON GROWIN' UP, LIVE!

2011-03-03T10:01:00.000-05:00

My beautiful, talented and heroic friend, Ryan Kerr, is putting on a FREE cabaret performance, this coming Wednesday at the Gladstone Hotel. The show is based on his book, and involves some amazing performers. He'll be doing a few numbers, and selling books in between sets (everyone needs to own a copy, it's heartbreaking, funny, creative and inspiring). It promises to be a super fun night and I hope everyone can make it out!

THE JENNA ROCCA SHOW PROMO VIDEO, A TWO SHAKES PRODUCTION

2011-03-02T21:50:00.002-05:00

Oscar Night - The Jenna Rocca Show from Two Shakes on Vimeo.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LINNY LINS!

2011-03-01T09:52:00.000-05:00

LOVE ME SOME LASH EXTENSIONS!

2011-02-28T23:54:00.002-05:00

Anyone who knows me knows I love eyelashes. In short, I had incredible lashes my whole life and then came my little stint with cancer and the chemo demolished them. Once they started growing back I was happy with the fullness but not with the length. Our lashes always fall out, they go through cycles, but because mine are still relatively fresh they tend to fall out all at the same time. I'm guessing it'll take another year or so before the cycle becomes sporadic again. I've become very good at using fake lashes (the glue on strips) and although they are easy and fun to use (watch the very unprofessionally filmed and edited video that I made for some fabulous gals over at Langton PR), it's still nice to just wake up with a full, long set of lashes.

Enter lash extensions.

For those who live under a rock, lash extensions are fake, individual lashes that get glued to your real ones.

I had them professionally done over the holidays at Winks Eyelash Boutique on the Danforth but was very disappointed with them. Not because they didn't do a good job, because they did do a very good job, it's just that they just weren't long or dramatic enough for me. For the normal woman who doesn't wear fake lashes or have naturally long ones, I'm sure they would have been thrilled with them, but for me, after a year of wearing really dramatic, full, dark and long ones, they just didn't cut it. And they just didn't last long, either. I spent, *gasp* $160 on these things, and they started falling off the next day. One by one. After two weeks they were completely gone (they told me they'd last over a month). Talk about money down the drain. (And so you all know, I'm actually VERY frugal - read: cheap - and this was my Christmas gift to myself.)

Now like I said, the fact they fell off so quickly isnt because the place was bad, it's because the fake lashes are glued on to your real lashes and fall out when your real ones fall out. So I'm guessing I got them done at a bad time of my lash cycle, but nonetheless I wasn't pleased with them and just went back to gluing on the strips myself.

So it's been a couple months, and a friend of mine, Loudia, learned how to do it and did them for me. She used much longer ones and they look so much better than the first time. Tomorrow will be one full week since I did them and they're still awesome. I think maybe three or four have fallen out but that's it.

Getting them done does take a while, and I would have had her put way more on to make them more full but I'm allergic to some adhesives and was worried the tape on my face was going to give me a rash, so after an hour I asked her to stop (this girl will do it for over 2 hours to get them as full as you want, she's incredible).

A little glimpse into getting them done (thanks Mil for shooting the process and being the DJ): Here she is taping down my bottom lashes so that they wouldn't get glued together to my top lashes. (Um, by the way, check out her incredible wedding ring....)

Once the lashes were taped down, she began gluing the lashes, one by one, separating them with tweezers so that they didn't stick together. I appreciate the attention to detail and meticulous application - if you're going to get this done, make sure you use someone who is very anal about not having the lashes stick together. Totally worth the time it takes.

Okay I look creepy, I know. Moving on... Once she was done, she used a little air blower thingy to make sure all the glue was dry. After that, she applied lash tint to make them nice and dark.

Check out these before and after photos. Like I said, these are very long but still natural looking. If I wasn't allergic to tape, trust me, I would have kept her there for 3 hours to make them more full. I'm so happy with them! (It's quite embarrassing having you all see my face so close up, but I made the file really huge so you could zoom in and get a good look. I'm so nice, I know, you're welcome.)

So, what do you think? Pretty nice, right? Loudia said that she did her sister's for her and they've lasted almost a month so far, so I hope mine do too! You can of course go back and get refills anytime so I might go ahead and do that.

You should know, though, that you do have to be careful with these, meaning that you can't go nuts rubbing your eyes or wearing a lot of make up with them because they are delicate. Also any oil based make up remover or product will un-adhere the glue so you want to stay away from that. When you've got these lashes though, you really don't need any other make up anyways so it's fine.

Lastly, I want to thank Loudia for doing such an incredible job. She works from home but will also go to you, so if you're interested, you can shoot her an email and tell her I sent you. I guarantee you won't get them done for a better price anywhere else. She also does hair and make up, and is an absolute pleasure to be around :) Contact her at yokana27@hotmail.com / 647-406-2441

THIS LOOKS LIKE THAT: OSCAR COSTUME PARTY!

2011-02-28T22:44:00.000-05:00

This is by far my greatest This Looks Like That post. Jenna, Bill and their cat hosted an outstanding Oscar bash, and it was pretty well the most thrilling way to enjoy the show (it was actually a lot more entertaining, to be honest. As much as I liked all the fashion and films, it was sort of a bore. Isn't that always the case though?) Anyhow, see below for all our costumes, and then head over to Mil's blog to see the other guests and more details about the night.

And I just want to say, Mila Kunis looked the best. Her and Cate Blanchett. That Lavender!

BOTTEGA VENETA: S/S 2011 AD CAMPAIGN

2011-02-19T15:26:00.000-05:00

I really love this new campaign, the images are so cinematic. Normally I'm not a huge fan of Karolina Kurkova, but she looks fantastic styled this way and played the part so well here. (Santiago Montego, the hot male model, he's not so bad either!) Just wanted to give props to the photogrpaher, Alex Prager, for an incredible batch if images. The birds and one of her in the yellow car are my favourites.

NEW RADIOHEAD: LOTUS FLOWER

2011-02-18T11:21:00.000-05:00

Of course this will be all over everywhere today and for the next, what, years???.....but too good not to post. Gigantic LOVEHEART.

THIS LOOKS LIKE THAT: A DOUBLE SHOT

2011-02-18T09:21:00.000-05:00

Today's installment of This Looks Like That has a bonus round. Up first is this photo of Daria from Vogue Paris 2009 paired with this vintage Calvin Klein ad featuring Brooke Shields, the 80's poster child of beauty (and scandal, might I add - I watched Pretty Baby last night and was, well, disturbed to say the least. You can Google Brook at ten years old in Playboy...yup...). Anyhow, here, it's obvious, denim aside, body language is quite similar.

And for the lightning round: Victoria's Secret lovely angel, Candice Swanepoel, bares a striking resemblance to Cameron Diaz. More so from The Mask days, but I couldn't find better suited images from that era, surprisingly. I love Candice because she's got an insane waist-to-hip ratio - she really tapers in at the waist and then BAM! I love that, because most of the angels are really thin and less shapely. Cameron isn't as fresh faced as she used to be, but she's almost 40 and likely just doesn't do any work. Which I think is fantastic, because we need some Hollywood stars to set an example and say, "yeah, I age too, deal with it." Plus, with her body, who is really looking at her face anyways?

LEARN HOW TO WRITE YOUR FIRST BOOK AND GET IT PUBLISHED WITH CHANTEL SIMMONS

2011-02-10T10:49:00.000-05:00

My incredible boss (and at this point I think it's fair to say, my friend) Chantel Simmons, has been in the publishing world for quite some time, and works as an author, editor and consumer trends tracker. She's already had two novels published - Stuck in Downward Dog (a Winnipeg Free Press bestseller, a Chatelaine Best Beach Book and Book of the Month, and a Vancouver Sun Editor’s Choice) and Love Struck, (published in Canada in February 2010).

She taught me at Centennial College and was a teacher favourite among all the students. Why? Because she's cute and funny and really, really, really knows what she's taking about. We were always engaged and inspired by her (I still am, she's amazing), and I'm so happy that she's decided to share her knowledge about writing and publishing with the rest of us aspiring authors!

She's currently offering two workshops, How To Write Your First Book and How To Get Published. Please check those links for more information about these workshops, and if you know anyone who is looking to get published or just figure out how to take the idea in their brains and get it on paper, please pass this on. She's amazing with answering questions and if you've been sitting on an idea she'll for sure motivate you to get cracking on writing your book or taking the next steps if you've already written it and don't know what to do next.

THIS LOOKS LIKE THAT: VANESSA PARADIS & ANJA RUBIK - PLUS, LEA TISCI AND TRANSSEXUALITY

2011-02-10T10:13:00.000-05:00

I'm on a roll! Geeze. Anyhow, this one is very close, but it is similar. When I saw the new shot (right, from Love #5, spring/summer 2011 shot by Mert & Marcus), I immediately thought of this Vogue cover. Of course it's just the overdrawn red lips and swim cap, but if an image calls another to mind, I think it's fair to use.

I want to mention that Lea Tisci is in this editorial (see link above). I've seen her in a bunch of editorials lately but it's only yesterday that I learned she's a transsexual. The first transsexual supermodel, if you will. I was really amazed upon this discovery, and am happy that the fashion world is giving every person with potential a fair chance. I'm not one for plastic surgery and believe that everyone should be happy with what they've been born with, so I'm torn because I totally support transsexuals and feel that they should live their lives whatever way they feel comfortable. But I totally see how I'm contradicting myself. Because I'm sure people who get any sort of surgery to change a part of their body also do it because they want to feel better about themselves, so why should it be any different? I'm still trying to work this out in my head.

Do you guys have any thoughts or opinions on this? I feel like people need to embrace themselves and not feel like they need to be anyone else, but at the same time, if you're really struggling with your identity and feel like you're trapped in the wrong body, than shouldn't you do whatever it takes to live the life you feel you were meant to live?

THIS LOOKS LIKE THAT: VINTAGE GRASSI GUNHOUSE & A VINTAGE MUSE

2011-02-10T09:45:00.000-05:00

I couldn't resist with this one - Andrea, aka Grassi Gunhouse, posted this photo on Instagram (which, for the record, I love, can you all get it please?! It's a free phone app, just do it) and it struck me as similar to this nautical blazer I have. I'm sort of jealous mine doesn't have the big bow and I didn't top it off with the lovely hat, but what can I say, she's just so much more a lady than I am.

Please follow my fancy friend:
@andGrassi / www.agrassi.com

THIS LOOKS LIKE THAT: KATE MOSS THEN & NOW

2011-02-10T09:18:00.001-05:00

Unfortuntalely, I can't take credit. This installation is brought to you by the lovely Aretha over at Martirio's Way. She's got a section called It's Not The Same But It's The Same, which I'll admit, is a fantastic name for what we do. Anyhow, I'm jealous to not have matched these sooner. What's amazing is that these two images are 18 years apart - Moss is looking mighty fine if you ask me. I love the shape of her boobs, and the structure to her face and body, she's evolved into such a strong and beautiful woman. I'm still in awe of her, how she's managed to overtake the fashion world and turn it on it's ass despite her size.

ALYSSA MILLER

2011-02-07T23:44:00.001-05:00

Tonight I'm looking at this gorgeous creature. (Yeah, bringin' back the Who I'm Looking At section). I fell for her back in her JACOB ad days (last photo). She's like the lovechild of Helena Christensen, Sophia Loren and Audrey Tautou. As much as she's a total bombshell, she's also got that pure innocence of a beautiful child.

(from top left: V Magazine by Peter Lindbergh; Guess By Marciano by Vincent Peters; Jacob lingerie campaign)

TWO THIRDS SUM 31

2011-02-07T15:12:00.000-05:00

Last week, after meeting the beautiful Tiiu Kuik at the Got2b event, I went to The Rivoli with my friend (and managing editor of Faze Magazine) Dana for an interview with Sum 41. Ok not the entire band, Derek wasn't there.

I never realized how beautiful Cone is, even if he does look a lot like Napolean Dynamite. He was super polite and sweet and I'm sure that adds to the beauty factor.

Also, not really sure why Dana and I are so far apart? Looks like we're at a school dance and someone said something to make it really awkward.

THE OTHER GUYS

2011-02-07T10:32:00.000-05:00

Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg were, in a word, hilarious in this movie. I watched it twice this weekend. It went sort of under the radar and didn't get the best reviews, but I think it's one of the funniest films I've seen in a while. It's a total action comedy with gigantic budget car chases and explosions, and while all the action is played very straight, the comedy is just plain funny. Considering it's huge cast - Samuel L. Jackson, Eva Mendes, Michael Keaton etc, - I'm really surprised it didn't do well.

This was one of my favourite scenes.

PALEO THUS FAR

2011-02-04T14:48:00.001-05:00

I've been eating "paleo" since the beginning of January and am feeling good. I've yet to start exercising again - which, needs to happen asap because I've got The Wedding Tour beginning in April and these arms need some definition - but overall, I feel very tight in the gut. Basically I'm not eating grains of any kind - breads, crackers, pizza, pasta, cereal, oats, any type of baked goods - and no dairy. Well, that's a lie, I take cream in my coffee but that's it. No cheese or ice cream (tear) etc. I also don't eat beans or legumes.

So what the hell DO you eat? You ask. Well for breakfast I either eat eggs and bacon, or, a bowl of mashed banana, walnuts, peanut butter, applesauce and cinnamon. Both are delicious and very filling. I also usually make smoothies/juices, today I had orange, banana and strawberries with cranberry juice. David and I bought a Vitamix, an industrial blender that blends just about anything, liquifies veggies (so you dont loose all the fiber!) and is so strong it can even cook soup. Anyhow, most mornings I try to make veggies drinks using carrots, celery, tomato, beet, some type of green (spinach or kale usually) and I throw in an apple for some sweeteness. Does it taste good? Not really. But does it give me lots of what I need for the first half of my day? Yes. So that's breakfast. (Lots of Paleo believers eat fish and nuts for breakfast but I need a lot of food in the morning or else I'm really grumpy, so like anything else, I've figuered out my own way of doing things).

Lunch is, well, let me tell you about dinner first because I usually have left overs for lunch.

Dinner is always veggies with either meat or fish. Lots of meat and fish, people. I started using coconut milk and I'm sort of addicted to it. I like to steam all kinds of veg - broccoli, carrots, onions, peppers, zucchini, eggplant - then add coconut milk with spices and chili and either beef or chicken. (I prefer beef, mmmm, beeeef). I like this dish because it's got everything I need, and moves away from the traditional "courses" we think we need. If I can get it all in one bowl why do I need to separate it all?

When David cooks things are alot more tasty and adventurous - he likes to experiment and does a lot of interesting things with fish, meat and vegetables. Example: Pork chops in the oven with a side of roasted squash topped with homemade guacamole and another side of brussel sprouts. Last night he made sausages (homemade, thanks dad!) with onions peppers and potatoes in the oven. Yum. I love him.

Eating out isn't as hard as everyone thinks - we love sushi and thai food so we just don't get the noodles or rice. We also love burgers, so I still eat those, just bunless. If you ask the server/cashier for no bun they will serve it on a bed of greens. Throw on all the condiments you'd otherwise order and just use a fork and knife. Tastes the same to me.

Back to lunch: when we cook dinner we always make extra so we have lunch. The days I don't bring a lunch I usually order thai food, some type of curry dish. For snacks, I'm a nut whore. Lots of nuts and dried fruit. (I try not to eat too much fruit because it's so high in sugar). Dave goes buck wild when he goes shopping for that stuff - he buys tons of different nuts and dried fruit in bulk and then we make our own mix in a huge jar that we dip into every day. Walnuts, almonds, pistachios, cashews (I don't care for those), Brazilian nuts (I leave those ones behind, yuck), and then dried strawberry, blueberry, raspberry, apricot, cranberry etc. To top it all off we add coconut shavings. So filling and so delcious. When I used to want a treat I'd eat chocolate or cookies, but nuts suit me just fine now. (Ok, I still love me some chocolate, and will indulge every now and then - but I try to go for 85% dark or organic chocolate covered almonds with coconut. Mmmmm).

Anyhow, this post was supposed to be about a success story I read about, and somehow turned into A Paleolithic Day In The Life post. Sorry.

People really don't understand the power of this lifestyle, and I urge you to read this story about The Unconquerable Dave, and read to the end to see what he looks like now. AMAZING to say the least. And take a gander through the rest of The Daily Apple blog, so informative.

I hope that I can continue with this lifestyle and reap all the benefits. It all stemmed from wanting to never get cancer again, and while thats still a huge reason, its also an amazing physical and mental challenge and has a lot to do with my views on society and the like. I'm diggin' it so far, and hope everyone reading is doing their best to be happy and healthy, too!

THIS LOOKS LIKE THAT: ANGELINA JOLIE & AMBER HEARD

2011-02-03T19:48:00.000-05:00

Both oldies, but since the beautiful Amber Heard came out (she's a lesbian, hot!) this photo of her has been circulating. Both from Maxim.

ANOTHER CELEBRITY SIGHTING: TIIU KUIK

2011-01-31T23:19:00.001-05:00

One of the reasons I love working for Chantel Simmons is that I get to go to a lot of events with her, or on her behalf. Today I went to ULTRA on Queen Street for a GOT2B event. It was a small gathering of people in the beauty industry, and The Stereos were hired to play a couple songs for us before we were seated for lunch and the presentation. I was there alone, and although I know some of the people that were there, I had just walked in from the cold and went to sit by myself while I thawed (Those are the moments that I'm like, come on menopause, be a pal and throw me a hotflash). Anyhow, a beautiful girl was sitting next to me, and when I really looked at her, I was like, another one. Another supermodel, before my very eyes. It wasn't until she stood up to get a piece of grilled cheese from one of the waiters that my notion was confirmed. Everyone gasped, saying, look how tall that girl is! (6'1" so I've read). And that made me laugh because no one else but me realized who she is.

I of course introduced myself and told her that I've seen tons of her work and that I think she's flawless, and she was very sweet and we just chatted for a few minutes about why she was in Toronto and how she missed her flight this morning and thats why she was there hanging out with her friends in the band. I told her about all my model run-ins and when I told her I met Christy and how much I love her, she put her hands on her heart and expressed the same thing. (She actually reminds me of Christy at times, weird).

~~My iphone doesn't have a flash so this is the best we could do, but my friend Dana came later and took a proper photo with a proper camera, and will send it shortly.~~

Here's the good photo:

It's only a matter of time until I meet Daria, right?!

WEDDING PHOTOS BLOGGED ON BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND PICTURES

2011-01-25T09:39:00.001-05:00

This lovely duo, Boyfriend/Girlfriend Pictures (sans puppy unfortunately, how cute?!), photographed my wedding and have posted the images on their blog. You can see them here.

I'm so grateful they didn't give away my day to someone else when I was deciding whether or not to keep the wedding on it's original date. They not only take amazing photos, but they're so much fun and easy to work with. I'm honoured to have had them there with us that day, and get to hang with them again in June when they shoot my sister's wedding :)

OUT IN THE OPEN

2011-01-21T17:21:00.000-05:00

Okay, you don't have to sign in anymore. Aren't you happy? Add me to your readers and what not, and thanks for being loyal even though I made it really, really annoying to do so.

Love you.

GOOD NEWS & BAD NEWS

2011-01-21T17:19:00.001-05:00

Most of my readers have seen the documentry I was in, I Don't Have Time For This. (If you haven't, SHAME ON YOU!)

I'll start with the bad news, so that you can be more cheery when you're done reading the post. So, Clare, the super inspiring woman in the film, the one who carried the torch during the Olympics and has the four year old boy, died last Wednesday. I know, it's so awful. I was away in LA for work and had a moment to check my emails and got the news. I balled all morning, and of course was even more overcome with sadness because I couldn't attend the service. David went though, and said it was a really uplifting and moving and everyone there was celebrating her. After I met her I really tried to get in touch with her because I wanted to get together with her and her husband, and she emailed me to say that she'd love to but wasn't doing so well so she'd let me know when she could see us, but it never happened. The thing about her death is that most of us were prepared, because we knew she was terminal, so her passing itself isn't a shock, but now that she's actually gone it drives home the fact that this could have been me, and how lucky I am to be ok right now. It's just so emotional. But I'm so honoured to have met her, and to be part of the film with her. * sigh *

So, better news, the film has been selected to be a part of the 6th Annual World Conference on Breast Cancer Foundation. Now our stories are going to reach the medical industry, support groups, research groups etc. So happy to be a part of it.

And even BETTER news, Janelle, the other woman in the film that was also planning her wedding, finally said her vows! They got married in the Bahamas over the holidays and she looked, in a word, GORGE. So happy for them :)

You can see more of her wedding photos here.

JUST WONDERING

2011-01-21T16:35:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, out of nowhere, I get really random thoughts that pop into my brain. I had one not too long ago, and I'm guessing it has to do with my recent watching of The Kids Are Alright (which I adored, by the way), but also likely has to do with the fact that I'm probably just gross.

I was thinking: I wonder how many men end up sleeping with their kids. Yup.

How do men, who dontate sperm, know who their kids are? What if a man donated his junk when he was like, 18, and then, yeeeears later, he ends up meeting someone much younger (this happens a lot) and they get it on? And fall in love? And have babies?

Do you think this happens? I bet it happens. I guess that's something to really consider when you go on a date with a man a lot older than you. You never know, he could be your dad.

BUT I WANT ONE

2011-01-06T09:53:00.001-05:00

This is Blondie, my boss' incredibly sweet, well mannered dog. She's five. Some of you may have already met her. I puppy-sat (I call all dogs puppies, even though it makes no sense, yesterday Dave said pointing to two business men, "Do I say, 'Hey, look at those two babies in suits?' No, they're adults, call the grown ones DOGS," but I like calling them puppies, soooo....too bad...anyways...) so as I was saying, I puppy-sat Blonide one weekend over the holidays and basically now I need one for myself.

I contacted someone yesterday about this little girl, but had awful dreams last night that I ended up getting two pups, and they were so small thay they kept getting squished and lost and hurt. I woke up in a sweat.

Everyone's giving us different opinions - some say dogs are so much work, some say they're the best thing in their lives - we don't know what to do. We just got married and want time for ourselves but how can a sweet little puppy be a bad thing? Especially since we're trying to be more active, I know taking it outside to pee and for a walk is work but at the same time, maybe some fresh air would do us some good, no?

The other thing is David prefers something larger than 4 pounds because he wants to actually PLAY with it and toss it around and play fetch outside, and I don't think tiny tea cup Chihuahuas are that kind of dog. He really likes Corkies (Yorkshire Terrier/Cocker Spaniel mix - which I'll admit are too bloody cute for words, but they're hard to find in TO). Plus for me, I love Chihuahuas because they're basically a puppy forever! In all honesty, I never liked how they looked and thought they were kinda runty, but after being with Blondie, oh you know, it changed everything.

Do you guys have pets? What do you think? I need advice, please.

THIS LOOKS LIKE THAT: ME AND COCO

2010-12-29T16:19:00.001-05:00

I recently did a shoot with Mil for my friend Sylvia's new book (more to come on that shortly), and one of the shots looks a lot like this shot of Coco from the latest Elle Italia January 2011 shoot she did shot by Matt Jones. We shot this before seeing the editorial, and although I'm no Coco, it's still pretty rad.

FOR JENNA, WHO READS TIL THE END - THIS LOOKS LIKE THAT, DARIA THEN AND NOW

2010-12-17T17:16:00.001-05:00

The title is just my way of saying thanks, Jen, I appreciate it.

Just a quick This Looks Like That: Daria's new editorial from Vogue's January issue has two shots that remind me of old ones.

This one (left) looks like this March 2007 shot with Cristiano Ronaldo.

And the styling here (left) is very reminicent of the editorial from a Vogue UK issue sometime in 2007.

THIS PHOTO MOVES ME/DID YOU KNOW 2010 IS ALMOST OVER?

2010-12-16T19:34:00.002-05:00

Some people are too beautiful. Look at her face, those bones, and her hair, and eyes... I just love this. (Aline Weber in Follow #1, see more here.)

So, as you can see, my blog is still private. I don't know what the state of this thing is supposed to be - I want to comb through and label and gain more readers etc but who has the time? What ever happened to sitting in class and blogging all day? Posting images and songs and ranting about how annoying the group of kids next to you are and worse, how much they smell and WORST, how they never put their trash in the trash bins and just left it all over the table?

Sometimes I'm so happy to be an adult, living on my own with my husband, but most of the time I feel five and wish I could be playing outside in the sprinkler on a hot day. How did we get here? It's December, people.

December! This time last year I was just about to do my third chemo. Bald and binging on the couch, wondering what would come next, how I was going to feel, feeling tired and ugly and confused about how I ended up there. But now it's all long over, and I'm sitting here, still wondering how I've ended up here and confused about 2010 being near done.

I'm writing all this and realize that who the fuck even sticks around to read a whole post anymore? I'm supposed to be honing my skill of expressing myself in 140 characters. I don't even know what to tweet, let alone how to do it well, and all the while there are people gaining fame from it. I don't understand.

Today, I'm just really confused. I'd begin with all the celebrity divorces but that's just silly. I'm going to play Wii, just me against the computer. Target practice. Oh yes.

THIS LOOKS LIKE THAT: BUNDCHEN & WERBOWY

2010-12-02T23:55:00.000-05:00

This new photo of Darz from Vogue France shot by Mikael Jansson reminds me of this retro Gisele image. The hair, the boobs, the beauty. See the rest of the very nude Daria spread here.

While I'm here, some other musings of mine lately.

This incredible face: Anna Selezneva (Tatler Russia, December 2010).

This incredible outfit. Dree Hemingway in Vogue Russia, December 2010.

And this one is just a piss off that she stole my name! Also, what did they do to her mouth?

THIS GUY COULD RUIN MY MARRIAGE

2010-11-19T15:24:00.001-05:00

Okay, not really, because I love my husband more than, anything, but, rhetorically speaking, Ryan Gosling is pure beauty. Pure, lusty, golden bearded beauty. * sigh *

I watched The Notebook for the zillionth time the other night and it felt so old for some reason. Maybe because he looked like such a babyface back then, and now he's more grown and hunky. Even McAdams. She was so young and soft and little. Speaking of her, they had a really good chemistry. Too bad they didn't last. Except, it'll all be good in the hood if he ends up with Michelle Williams, because after watching the Blue Valentine trailer I could just die from a love overdose. But I suppose back then, it was meant to be, look how sweet they look. I know it's a movie set, but still. It's perfect.

And I always wonder what would of happened if young Hollywood pups stayed together. Like look at these two, I bet her life wouldn't have turned out to be so crazy if she just married Justin. They could have been that cute couple that played in diapers together. Aw.

TWEETS: THE PUBLIC TEXT MESSAGE

2010-11-16T22:57:00.002-05:00

Twitter is fantastic for lots of reasons. For one, you can connect with people you would have never been able to otherwise. Example, the incredible Christy Turlington, someone I've admired since I was a little girl, and I have written to one another via Tweets. For me, that in itself makes Twitter a total gift. Example two, Jenna Rocca has connected with Roger Ebert, someone she's admired since she was a little girl. And from that connection came more followers and more connecting. This snowball effect and the sharing of ideas and getting to know what turns people on and off is great. I love that.

What I don't love about Twitter is how it's become more of a public display of text messages. I feel like people are sending one another tweets as if no one else is reading them. It's not that I think this is wrong or anything, I just don't see the point. If you want to talk to your friend about staying home in your jammies just text them. Or email. Or call. Why tweet?

I like to read tweets about interesting articles, or ranty little tidbits of whats pissing you off, or simple tweets that are just flat out funny. I rarely tweet and most of the time I just like to read. To be honest, I usually check my Twitter from my iPhone when I'm in the bathroom. (Which is how and why I've come to call it Shitter, not Twitter.)

But maybe I'm missing something? Maybe we're just appropriating this medium as a free way to text?

IT'S BEEN A GREAT COUPLE DAYS

2010-11-15T09:48:00.002-05:00

THIS LOOKS LIKE THAT: OLD DARIA, NEW DARIA

2010-11-07T10:54:00.001-05:00

This new shot of Daria from November's Vogue Italia (top) reminded me so much of these old shots of her from V Magazine #34 (bottom). Purely the body language and silhouettes.

I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THIS NOW AVAILABLE ONLINE

2010-11-03T19:30:00.000-04:00

If you missed it and want to watch it, please visit the W Network to see the documentary I'm in, I Don't Have Time For This.

BABY GINNIFER

2010-11-03T19:26:00.000-04:00

Don't you think I looked like I'd grow up to be Ginnifer Goodwin? What happened?

I LOVE THIS WOMAN

2010-11-03T19:10:00.000-04:00

I just do. She makes me feel so happy. Just look at her.

BREAST CANCER MONTH, DAY 29, 30 & 31: HALLOWEEN

2010-10-31T12:23:00.001-04:00

Since it's a holiday I'm lumping the weekend into one post. Hey, I did a solid 28 days already, give me a break.

Usually I don't care for Halloween. The main reason is I don't take a particular interest in going to clubs filled with girls dressed as the whore version of everything and anything. So while my husband spent every Halloween going to said whore filled clubs for his friend's birthday, I'd stay home with Mil and watch movies/take photos/bum around. Away from the chaos. But since I'm married this year, I thought I'd fulfill my wifely duties and join my husband.

The guilt trip also helped: "You never want to come out with my friends. Every time I go out they ask where you are...why can't we just go together and have a good time?!"

Plus, last year he stayed home with me while I endured my first chemo so I couldn't really say no, right? I figured I should really go all out so I got out my make up and gave myself an ass chin.

Pretty good Danny Zuko, no?

I actually had a lot of fun, and was surprised by how few whore versions there was. Lots of good costumes and the place wasn't too full (Mod Club). Sadly though, this meant missing Jenna Rocca's epic costume party. Mia Wallace was there, even Margot Tenebaum. And of course, Jenna was out in full force.

This post is also the last of my Breast Cancer Month series, but I'll continue to write. It's been a good exercise for me, and I'm happy to be writing again. This baby will be going public soon enough, which will likely keep me motivated to update. I know, I've said it a billion times and it's still private, but I've got to really comb through it all and make sure there isn't anything incriminating, which takes time. I've got over three years on here!

So thanks for reading, and Happy Halloween!

BREAST CANCER MONTH, DAY 28: FLAWLESS

2010-10-29T16:12:00.000-04:00

Leighton Meester, looking perfect. I adore this shot.

Shot by Christophe Mimoon for Marie Claire UK, Dec 2010

Yes, sometimes the post will be a day late and unrelated to boobs.

BREAST CANCER MONTH, DAY 27: BETTE DAVIS

2010-10-27T22:43:00.001-04:00

Last night my cousin Natalie was over and during dinner something made me laugh and reminded me of the famous scene in I Love Lucy where Lucille Ball is the Vitameatavegamin girl (which neither she or my husband had ever seen - whaaa??!!?) so we watched the clip and then that made me show them some clips of What's My Line, because we were just in that oldies kinda mood.

And that brought me to post today about the incredible Bette Davis, who also had breast cancer. This clip is so great, and I would have loved to share a drink with this woman.

BREAST CANCER MONTH, DAY 26: EXERCISE IS RUTHLESS

2010-10-26T16:22:00.002-04:00

I was doing really well. You remember. Waking up and planning ahead and working out almost everyday. Then, well, yeah...

So this post is about how obviously ruthless exercise is. When you do it, awesome. Your body, for the most part, says thanks, and you feel good. You don't feel tired. You have a healthy appetite. You're happy. But when you don't, it's like you dumped your boyfriend and he's so pissed he lights your house on fire. Quite literally in fact, because what I'm getting at is my hot flashes.

The most well know symptom of menopause is the hot flash, and oh how they burn.

When I was exercising regularly, they weren't too bad. I'd have one here and there but never really anything I couldn't handle. And it isn't so much about their frequency, it's about how intense they are when they come. So now that I haven't exercised in, lets say, almost a month (*riddled with shame*) my hot flashes are REALLY HOT. I sweat like a mofo. It's crazy. (But I do like the fact that I'm detoxing? Is that true? Do you know?)

I can't stress enough how much exercise will make you feel good when you do it, and make you feel bad when you don't. And just because YOU'RE probably not in menopause sweating your bag off and waking up in the night drenched, doesn't mean your body isn't fighting back in a different way. We've got tons of problems that are probably all linked to lack of exercise, somehow. Im no doctor and am still trying to learn more, (started The Paleo Solution, yay!) but I've basically tried and tested this whole exercising thing and I can say for certain that when I'm doing it, my life rocks so hard. And when I'm not, I feel like a bag of shit.

Now all I gotta do is learn to squat properly and I'm back to the good life.

BREAST CANCER MONTH, DAY 25: ULTRASOUND

2010-10-25T23:12:00.001-04:00

I found a little lump on my inner thigh a few months ago and of course it alarmed me. I had three different oncologists feel it and none of them were worried. For one, they never see tumors in spots like that, and for two, were pretty certain it was just a fat deposit. Despite their confidence, I wanted to have a scan or something more informative (other than just finger tips) to really reassure me, so my oncologist set up an ultrasound, which I had today.

After watching the documentary I was in, and seeing the stories of the other women, I became urgently worried about the thing. I was like, OH MY GOD. This is the type of mental patterns that stem from a recovering cancer patient:

Fuck. I might have more cancer. In my thigh.
If I have more cancer in my thigh, then where else is it?
OMG, what if it's in my whole body?
If it's in my whole body, what if it's too late and they can't save me?
Am I going to fucking die?
WTF?!?!?!?!!?!??!
sndakjhsdgfk acsdgfksdbcsbdkagsdfkjb asdjvbskdjhhijasjfbds~!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah. That's the truth. It's like a detonator just goes off in your brain and the whole universe is going to crumble.

So I went to the appointment filled with a certain level of stress and anxiety. The oncologists think it's nothing but a lot of people also thought my breast lump would be nothing, too. And just because they've never seen a tumor in a thigh doesn't mean there can't be a tumor inside a thigh, right?

Anyhow, I go to get the thing looked at under the little slimy ultrasound thingy, and the guy does his thing, and then he leaves the room to go show the doctors the images. Like, right then, he goes to show him, so I'm waiting on the table with my bare leg and lubed up thigh. He returns and gives me a look like I'm crazy and paranoid and says that it's nothing, just a fat deposit.

Of course. I've got cellulite inside my leg.

The good news is that it's nothing to worry about.

(Is this story too anti-climactic?)

The moral of the story is that it's always good to get things looked at, even if it's only for your piece of mind. God only knows the stress I would be putting on myself having that thought in the back of my mind. Not healthy.

So if you ever feel something wonky or different or strange, please go have it looked at. We're lucky enough to live in a country where these types of tests are readily available, so just take advantage of it.

That's it for my lecture tonight. It's past my bedtime and I still have clothes in the dryer that need folding.

I love you all for reading about my lumps.

BREAST CANCER MONTH, DAY 24: A QUOTE TO LIVE BY

2010-10-24T23:02:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking about the other women in the documentary since I saw it last Wednesday. One of the women, Clare, said something that is so simple, yet I can't get it out of my head. This is all I want to say today, and hope that everyone can carry it with them when life seems to not cooperate. (And Lenny, this quote was for you, I asked Dave to bring it to you but I'll just write it on your wall myself next time I come over).

A day depressed is a day wasted.

ME AND COCO ROCHA!

2010-10-24T12:14:00.000-04:00

Here's the proper image of Coco and I, finally got to uploading it. Isn't she so pretty?

BREAST CANCER MONTH, DAY 23: ZOMETA

2010-10-24T12:12:00.000-04:00

My cancer was hormone positive, which means my estrogen was fueling it. So, they've shut down my reproductive system and have medicinally induced me into temporary menopause. A side effect of menopause - or lack of estrogen - is your bone density weakens. This is why most women post-menopause suffer from Osteoporosis. Before any of my treatments it was realized that I already have Osteopenia, which is like, a step before Osteoperosis - this of course came as a surprise given I was only 24 and used to drink milk like it was going out of style. Anyhow, because I already had weak bones, the chemo and menopause obviously only make it worse, so, every six months I take a drug called Zometa that helps maintain and improve my bone density.

I had my first treatment for it just before my wedding in April. It is administered into my blood, and I was told I'd feel achy and tired. I was fine for the first 12 hours, and then I was brutally ill for the 24 hours that followed. I was nauseous and cold and hot and just felt terrible. It was like a really bad flu. Not fun. Obviously.

Friday night was my second treatment. I was anticipating the same reaction even though the doctors told me the first one is usually the worst. Turns out they were right, and it wasn't too bad. I do feel really sore and achy but I didn't throw up this time. Maybe because I took Gravol. Last time, I don't know why, but I didn't take the Gravol. Last night was a little rough, I woke up a bunch of times because my bones just hurt so much, but I also took some Tylenol and it seemed to help. I'm feeling weak but other than that I'm cool.

Unfortunately I missed my friends 30th birthday party (Happy Day Lenny!), but I did get to catch up on my shows. I'm staying at my dad's all weekend because he's got cable and Rogers On Demand. YAY!

So that's that. Who watched the documentary!?!?

BREAST CANCER MONTH, DAY 22: I LOVE MY HUSBAND

2010-10-22T11:12:00.001-04:00

Today I just want to say that I love my husband. It's still surreal to even call him that, because some days it feels like we met yesterday, and we're still just young and getting to know one another. Other days it feels like we've lived a billion different lives together already.

Watching the documentary the other night, it was so clear that the film is about the women fighting the fight, but also the men by their side. Dave was, in a word, incredible. He's been so supportive and it really blows my mind when I think about how he's handled everything. There was never a time where he was weak or frustrated or angry or anything like that - he would completely be there, so there, so present, no matter what I needed.

Some moments with him that I will always cherish as wonderful and hilarious during my cancer are the following:

1) Me: I'm so ugly bald. Don't I look so ugly? Just admit it.
Dave: No way, you look so easy to love.

And these types of moments would be accompanied by him rubbing and kissing my fuzzy head. (How pissed will he be that I'm exploiting his sweetness?! Ha).

2) The infamous "Fruit Flower for my Morning Flower" breakfast.

3) Watching The Sopranos in bed whilst eating large bowls of chocolate ice cream.

4) Most things Fertility Clinic related.

5) Massages.

Who am I kidding? Pretty well most moments with him have either been wonderful or hilarious. Or wonderfully hilarious. Or hilariously wonderful. But of course the very best thing was our wedding day.

Photos by Boyfriend/Girlfriend Pictures and text design by Pulp Cuts (who also designed my beautiful invites).

I feel like its so cliche to praise your own husband but the reality is, he's my heart. I love him more than anything so I'm really proud to call him mine. I know, you want to puke. Sorry. Can't help it.

BREAST CANCER MONTH, DAY 21: I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THIS PREMIERES AT REGENT THEATRE

2010-10-21T15:41:00.003-04:00

Last night was the screening of I Don't Have Time For This. I don't want to say too much about the film, because hopefully you'll all want to see it for yourselves, but I will say that it was a very surreal experience. Having been through breast cancer, I felt very confident with my knowledge about the disease before watching it. Feeling like I've been through it, and that I could speak on behalf of other women going through it, there wasn't much I thought I needed to learn. But watching the stories of the other women - two of which I didn't meet til yesterday - really made me see how unique the experience can be. Their journey has been radically different from mine and the truth is, they make my cancer seem like a cold. While people approached me after the film to say what an inspiration I am, I was looking towards the other women thinking that they were the real soldiers in the room. The whole thing got me thinking about being alive and I cried the whole way to work this morning thinking about them.

What makes me happy, though, is that this documentry will obviously do it's intended job: bring insight into what it means to live with breast cancer. If it moved me in this way, and I've actually been through it, I'm sure it'll touch anyone who watches it.

I'm really happy and proud to be a part of it, and hope that everyone can take the time (only about an hour) to watch it on Saturday at noon on the W network.

BREAST CANCER MONTH, DAY 20: HAPPY DAY TO MA SIS

2010-10-20T15:15:00.000-04:00

Today kicks ass for two reasons, #1, my sister-in-law turns thirty today, and she's so wonderful and has incredible skin for her age. ;)

Second, tonight is the screening of I Don't Have Time For This, and even though I have nothing to wear, I'm super pumped to see it.

BREAST CANCER MONTH, DAY 19: LIVE TV IS FUN!

2010-10-19T12:59:00.004-04:00

This morning I was on Canada AM to talk about the documentary I'm in that'll be airing this Saturday at noon. Sylvia and Janelle, two of the other women in the film, were also there with me. It was a little nerve wracking, given I've never been on LIVE TV before, but I think having the other girls there with me made it a lot easier. Plus, I'm such a natural. Watch the clip here .

The entire staff at CTV was also super nice. Our segment fell in between the infamous Red Green - you know him - and vivacious/funny/blunt/super pretty Jenny McCarthy. This was her last stop to promote her new book, Love, Lust & Faking It (which, for the record, is like her 7th best seller or something) and she also talked about, how appropriate, her first boob job. The thing about this, is she woke up halfway through the surgery. Yeah. I guess that's what you get for buying discounted implants when you're a teenager. You can hear all about that here.

I'd also love to take a moment to admire the cover of her book.

Anyhow, she was super funny and nice and was sweet enough to let us take a photo together. I know, I know, you love our mugs. They gave them to us during the interview and then when we were done they said we could keep them, and Jenny was in a rush so we had no where to put them but in our hands like real spokeswomen.

Don't be jeals. It's just a mug.

BREAST CANCER MONTH, DAY 18: THE PALEO DIET

2010-10-19T12:16:00.000-04:00

I've been bad about posting on the appropriate day, but, at least I'm getting the correct number of posts up, right? Right.

I've been told by a number of people to look into the Paleo diet, which essentially, is all about no grains. I ordered Robb Wolf's book, The Paleo Solution and it finally arrived in the mail yesterday. As soon as I have some time I'm going to sit and read that mother front to back because I'm still confused/intrigued by the concept. My friend at work told me all about it and swears that more fats will change my life for the better but I can't wrap my head around the idea. Must. Read. Book.

This is the thing about cancer (okay, one of the many things): there's always information coming at you from every angle claiming that it's the right thing, or the thing, or the best thing, but really all the different THINGS just end up conflicting and not making sense and being the opposite. And it's not just about food, but also fitness, surgeries, medications, meditations, and overall lifestyle. Everyone's got their opinion/belief, and while it may work or make sense to them, it might not always line up with whats best for you. So, I suppose this reading and learning about the stuff that strikes you as plausible is the only thing to do. Hence the book. That I'll be reading. Soon.

BREAST CANCER MONTH, DAY 17: COCO ROCHA

2010-10-18T12:38:00.000-04:00

One of the perks of being the assistant of the incredible Chantel Simmons is that I get to attend fun events with her. On Friday we went to the Greta Constatine fashion show to interview the stylist about the show's hair for The Kit, and one of the models there was Coco Rocha. After she finished hair and make up, I approached her to say hello and if I could take a photo with her. You know, to add to my collection of Photos Next To Supermodels (because we all remember my not asking Cindy Crawford for a photo - was a shame.) Coco was a darling and was happy to pose with me. Unfortunately I don't have my cord to upload the photo off my digital camera so for now, here's a shot of my little camera screen that I took with my iphone. Will post the proper image shortly.

What does this have to do with breast cancer? Nothing. Sometimes the posts will be about awesome stuff only.

BREAST CANCER MONTH, DAY 16: ON GROWIN' UP

2010-10-18T12:29:00.001-04:00

On Saturday morning I attended a reading/workshop/inspirational presentation by my friend Ryan Kerr. He's a self published author, and is taking over the world one day at a time. He wrote a book about his coming out (of the closet) story entitled, On Growin' Up, and it's been so widely received he's going on tours and traveling and running out of copies.

Visit his site for more info.

As part of the workshop, he asked all the guests to make their own little book in the same style of his, all construction paper cut outs. We had limited time but I made a three page story about being young and in control of your life (long hair, happy and cute boobs), going through a hard time (bald with boob scars) and then the aftermath, which is back to happiness, except this time a bigger smile (and shorter hair and different boobs).

The point of the activity isn't only to have fun with scissors and glue (which it WAS very fun), but it's about telling your story, being expressive and touching or connecting with other people. He is shocked to see the attention he's getting from this little book, and it just goes to show how much reaching out can really change someone else's life.

Jenna and Mil came with me, maybe they'll want to post theirs too?!

BREAST CANCER MONTH, DAY 15: I'VE BEEN BAD

2010-10-16T17:10:00.000-04:00

Is it just me or is this weather making every week extremely more difficult to get through? I was doing really well with my waking up bright and early to work out and planning my meals and being an all around incredible new person. But the last few weeks have been awful.

I've officially moved into the city - yay! - but what that means for my routine is that getting to the gym at 7:30am is much harder. For one, it's cold and dark in the morning. I just can't pull myself out of bed. In the summer, the sun would wake me and I would be so hot in my room (the air conditioning never reaches my bedroom, plus the night sweats and hot flashes etc) so getting up and doing the 20 minute drive to Mississauga was simple.

BUT NOW. It's cold, and dark, and my body and brain thinks I still have another 4 hours to sleep. Plus the commute is some what killing me - takes me three times as long, and with the Jameson closures I'm just barely moving at times.

So I suppose its this weather AND my new location that has added to my bad behaviour. There will be many changes happening in the short future, all of which will be to have a better routine. More happiness.

Happiness is key. I know some people don't get that, but after the year I've had, happiness is pure and simple and, despite what people might think, very easily attainable.

BREAST CANCER MONTH, DAY 14: MIL, MY AWARD WINNING PHOTOGRAPHER BFF

2010-10-14T12:49:00.005-04:00

Lets start off with making this a relevant breast cancer post, and then I'll talk about her wicked skills.

So, essentially, besides my husband, I probably wouldn't have been able to get through cancer without my BFF/maid of honour/partner in crime/favourite photographer Melissa Di Pasquale, aka Mil. Everyone always tells me that we're so lucky to have one another, and that our friendship is so unique, and I have to admit, it's all very true. I know that I'll always be supported by her, and that she just gets me. She came to so many appointments, took days off work to be with me, would bring me lunch, did fun photoshoots with me cause she knew it would make me feel better, rented movies for us to watch and basically took good mental and emotional care of me. AND, all without ever making me feel like it was a problem. Just straight up there for me. No questions asked. That kind of love is hard to come by. OH, and how can I forget, also helped me plan my entire wedding. Yeah.

So the point is, cancer is a hell of a lot easier when you have a Mil. Just look at her. She holds me physically, and metaphorically.

I'm not the only one who recognizes her amazingness. She recieved an email yesterday that read:

Each year, The School of Media Studies & Information Technology celebrates some extraordinary students for their remarkable achievements inside and outside of the classroom. This year, you have been chosen to receive the following:

Award: Narvali Digital Photography Limited Award

Criteria: Awarded to a student for the best portrait portfolio.

How spectacular is that?! Completely deserving. So proud of her, and like I've said before, I hope she'll always make time to shoot me when she's big and famous. Today she's shooting Jeanne Beker so I'm guessing it's not a good day for me to ask her to take my photo.

I LOVE YOU!

BREAST CANCER MONTH, DAY 13: I'M GOING TO BE ON LIVE TV

2010-10-13T16:45:00.001-04:00

Look, I'm posting on the correct day.

This ones quick: Canada AM is doing a segment on the documentary I Don't Have Time For This and have asked me to be there. It'll be airing on Tuesday the 19th likely at 8am.

BREAST CANCER MONTH, DAY 12: CELEBRITIES GET BREAST CANCER TOO

2010-10-13T16:39:00.005-04:00

Of course they do, they're just people.

But, at Jenna's request, I looked into Christina Applegate's decision to have a bi-lateral mastectomy after discovering she tested positive for the breast cancer gene, BRCA. (I've recently been tested myself and am waiting for the results. That's it's own post). During my search, I came across this page that has a list of famous survivors. I was actually shocked because if you would have asked me, Appelgate, Susan Sommers, Kylie Minogue and Sheryl Crow were the only ones I could have told you. Shockers included Betsy Johnson, Edie Falco and Cynthia Nixon. Who knew?

I'm always skeptical about when rich people get sick because I feel as if there's a cure out there but if us regular, poor folks had access to it the economy would crumble to itty bitty pieces. There's so much MONEY in cancer, and I get the feeling the rich survive because they pay big bucks.

Do you believe there's actually a cure? That all the money we've raised has done it's job? I get the feeling it's out there. With all our technology and inventions and gadgets, you'd think we could keep this shit under control, no? And how archaic is chemo? I mean, isn't there a better way? A natural way. But this whole naturopathic vs medicinal approach is a subject that needs more attention. And right now I've got to get my shit together and go home, so lets pick this up another time.

But please leave a comment and let me know what you think, do you believe there's already a cure or are we still working on it?

BREAST CANCER MONTH, DAY 11: NO ONE IS EVEN READING THIS

2010-10-12T16:23:00.000-04:00

What a sucky title, I'm all "why don't you want to read my blog?"

I guess you miss all the tits and ass I usually post. Admit it.

So, today, since you obviously don't want to read anything, I'll let you be lazy and just look (okay and read captions, it's the least you can do).

I love this look. Hot girl, Shannon Sossamon, looking like a hot boy. Something like that.

The incredible Michael Pitt and his gorgeous model/musician girlfriend Jamie Bochert. Love them.

Ginnifer Goodwin. Flawless.

And of course, to make this post relavent to breast cancer month, the early matured Kim Kardashian at age 14. How did she already have those puppies?

BREAST CANCER MONTH, DAY 10: THANKSGIVING

2010-10-10T23:13:00.000-04:00

Today was all about cooking and preparing and eating and cleaning and tolerating each other. A billion hours prep, 10 mins demolition. Since it's really a day about being thankful, it's obvious I'm thankful to just be alive, even though I've gone all day without realizing it.

Does this even make sense? Sometimes the posts won't make any sense.

I wanted to spend this weekend catching up on my shows like an old lady but you know, life and shit gets in the way. Now I'm tired and don't have the patience to try and watch anything over the yelling of my family. We're loud.

My husband is about to fall over so I guess it's time for bed.

BREAST CANCER MONTH, DAY 9: LOOK, A POEM

2010-10-10T23:01:00.004-04:00

Firstly, when I said I would blog daily for breast cancer month, what I meant was that I'd do one post per day, so sometimes that means doing two posts in one day...right...

Anyways, David and I are part of a couple's study to gain research about couples dealing with breast cancer, and for one of the "assignments" we were asked to express ourselves in a creative way. I chose to write a poem about how having breast cancer has tested our relationship and that if we can handle this, we can handle anything. It's untitled, but maybe I'll just call it, "Marriage Ain't Got Shit On Us," or something like that.

Although they already knew

That all the things they’d go through

Would be hard to overcome

It had only just begun

With a little lump inside her breast

And hard beats inside his chest

With worry and uncertainty

But also strength, luckily

Because they learned a thing or two

About what they could really do

To fight the fight and work it out

And see what its all about

To love someone no matter what

Without an if or and or but

With all they learned and taught themselves

They experienced wedding bells!

Having gone through this ordeal

They know that their love is real

And though marriage is give and take
For them it’ll be a piece of cake.

- claudia, breast cancer ass kicker/wife extraordinaire

BREAST CANCER MONTH, DAY 8: MAMMO

2010-10-08T23:02:00.001-04:00

Starbucks is kicking me out so I'm sending you to Rethink's blog to read a mammo story written by their incredible founder and president, MJ. I got to meet her and she's just so inspiring/gorgeous/fantastic. See my comment under her post to read about my mammo experience.

Soon I'll blog the proper story. (And will get some wifi. Ugh).

BREAST CANCER MONTH, DAY 7: BEAUTIFUL BOOBS

2010-10-08T22:58:00.000-04:00

I have no internet at the condo yet so it's been hard to blog. Sorry. To make up for it, pure and simple, here are some beautiful boobs for Breast Cancer month. Miss Lara Stone, French Vogues 90th Anniversary cover.

BREAST CANCER MONTH, DAY 6: THE PRESENT

2010-10-06T13:29:00.002-04:00

When I think about what I was doing this time last year, I'm amazed. How and when did it all happen?

I was spending my days going to appointments and preparing for chemotherapy. I was deciding whether or not to cancel the wedding. I was harvesting my eggs. I was pulling my shit together, and keeping it strong for my family and friends. It doesn't seem real sometimes - feels like it's just a story I heard that I'm retelling now.

While I wait to see the screening of the documentary, I'm curious to not only see what clips made the final cut, but to actually watch what was I was going through. I know I lived it, but there's something about looking back that gets me. I'm amazed that that was my life, but also proud and happy that it's all over now.

Rethink holds an annual Breast Fest which is a film festival about anything related to breast cancer, and in one of the shorts I watched called A Diary of Healing, the women says:

I feel like I was in a home that I ran out of, and a tornado came, and just decimated it. And now I'm looking back from down the block and saying oh my gosh, I lived there. That was my home. I think wow, that was my life, I went through that. And I'm on the other side of it, so, even though the person that lost their home in the tornado is certainly happy that their alive, they're really sad about everything that they lost and went with it. It doesn't make them ungrateful for the fact that they're alive but there's a fair amount of grieving that has to be done.

While this statement definitely moves me, I, for some reason, don't share her sentiment. And that confuses me, because shouldn't I? Shouldn't I feel the same way? That I lost an entire year of my life, or that with cancer came tribulation and hard decisions to make? But I don't. And maybe it's because this is a woman who surgically went through a tidal wave more than I did - she had her breasts removed and reconstructed, which is no where near the surgery I endured. They went into my breast with two little incisions, cut out the tumor with a fair chunk of flesh, and also took one lymph-node. My recovery still isn't complete, I still feel discomfort and the nerve endings are all messed up and the muscles are a little weak so I can only imagine what hers is like. But despite that, I don't feel like I really lost anything. (Okay, except that piece of my boob, but who wants to hold on to boob flesh thats got cancer in it anyways, right?)

I feel like I've gained so much. I have a husband, a new family, new home, fresh beautiful hair, a healthier lifestyle, more knowledge, the wisdom to help educate some one else, more strength, more courage, more love. So while she feels like the tornado ruined her home, I feel like I've got a brand new one, and it's the Extreme Home Make Over kind.

I suppose this just proves true that we all perceive and experience things so differently.

So anyhow, it's year later, and here I am writing about when I had cancer. It's a good feeling. I say this all the time now, because I feel like it's so true: Being alive is just so crazy.

BREAST CANCER MONTH, DAY 5: SYLVIA SOO

2010-10-05T16:11:00.001-04:00

Sylvia is one of the young women in the documentary I'm in. She was diagnosed at 25 and underwent a mastectomy. I can only imagine how hard it was to committ to doing that. It was a possibilty for me, but after discussing with the surgery with different doctors we decided that because the tumor was small enough, and given my age, we'd just take out the lump and if it ever comes back we'll deal with it then. One statement that stood out to me was, "well if you're going to remove your entire breast because you're scared the cancer will come back, it can always just come back in the other one." And I wasn't about to do a radical double mastectomy so we went with the lump.

Now I haven't spoken to Slyvia or read enough about her dignosis, but I'm guessing she was in a position where removing the whole breast was in fact the best thing for her. I'll be meeting her in a few weeks when she comes to TO. She's been awarded a grant by Rethink Breast Cancer to write a book/zine about her experience with the disease (insert me, oozing with jealousy) and has asked me to participate! She'll be interviewing me and I'm looking forward to meeting her. This whole Do I Dont I about the surgeries is still so confusing to me and I'm really curious to hear her experience and reasons for her choice.

I'll let Google do the work, since there is so much posted about her on the internet. She's got a Cancer Fabulous blog on the go and also has a Facebook page and YouTube channel documenting her journey, so just type in Sylvia Soo and check her out.

BREAST CANCER MONTH, DAY 4: SLEEPY

2010-10-04T22:02:00.001-04:00

I was too busy to blog today and now I'm lying in bed and posting from my iPhone. We don't have Internet yet and I can't seem to steal a signal. I just want to say that I love my life. I love that I'm here and feel like a cliche cause after the year I had I just feel happy and grateful that I'm alive. We always say that life is short but never really do anything about it or live as if that's true. And then you get hit with something like cancer and all of a sudden it makes a lot of sense. Even after losig my mother it didn't hit me like it has now. I suppose there is something about it happening directy to you? Who knows. The point is I feel great and am going to make more of an effort to live a healthy life; mentally, physically, socially, and career wise. If there was ever a time for me to follow my heart it's now.

Sweet dreams!

BREAST CANCER MONTH, DAY 3: JAMIE EASON

2010-10-03T19:57:00.000-04:00

I've had the pleasure to work with this insanely fit creature, Jamie Eason, one of MuscleMag and Oxygen magazine's favourite athletes. Not only is she inspiring because of her dedication to fitness and health, but she's also a survior of breast cancer. She was diagnosed in her early 20's, and it's actually the reason she catapulted herself into training and getting in such incredible shape. It's said that she'll be coming into our offices soon, so I really hope to meet her. Her drive and motivation (and the fact that I have to stare at her gorgeous body all day) makes it a lot easier to get out of bed in the morning and get my ass to the gym.

She's on our latest cover, which you can see here, and for more information about her check out her website.

BREAST CANCER MONTH, DAY 2: I ALREADY MISSED A DAY BUT THAT'S OKAY

2010-10-03T14:27:00.002-04:00

Alright so I already broke my vow by not posting yesterday, BUT, I had a wedding, thus, didn't have the time, which means I'm not lazy, just busy. To make up for it I'll post twice today.

The wedding yesterday actually ties in well with my blogging about breast cancer in the following ways:

1) The bride - one of my oldest and truest friends, Diana - has the most incredible boobs and they looked spectacular in her stunning gown. I was oozing with jealousy.

2) More specifically and seriously: sitting in the church yesterday, witnessing her and Jason proclaim their love and commitment made me think about my wedding, and how not cancelling/changing the day of our wedding when I was diagnosed was one of the best things I could have ever done to help me get through it.

My diagnosis came roughly 7 months after my engagement, and you'd think in that time I would have already done most of the planning, but I've never been very bride-sy and had only booked the hall and church. That means there were still decor, flowers, photographers, dress(es), invitations, limo, music, and so on and so forth (you think you know what it takes to plan a wedding, but unless you do it, you don't really know - the list of shit to do is epic). My main worry with all this wasn't finding the time or energy but more so The Stress.

The worst thing for your body - whether you have cancer or not, but especially when you do - is of course stress. Be it mental, emotional, physical, it's all a vehicle to poor health. Even though I'd like to consider myself a pretty simple person when it came to what I wanted for my wedding, I still felt that all the work and decisions were going to stress me out. Even if I was the least fussy person on the planet, there was so much involved in getting things done that I thought it'd probably be best to just focus on my health, get through my treatments, and then think about the wedding at a later date.

So what happened? I realized that if I cancelled the wedding or changed the date, the diagnosis would just take over my life. My world was already turned upside down, and there were so many things I couldn't control - ie. getting cancer in the first place, all the treatments, the doctor appointments etc - but I knew that I did have control over some aspects of my life so I decided that I'd keep living as best and normally as I could despite everything else.

Turns out, planning the wedding was the main thing that kept me so positive and focused. No matter how shitty I felt, I knew that it would all be over and when it was, I'd get to marry David. I knew that I just had to get through those few months, and then I'd get to celebrate and party and have the best time of my life. It also kept me distracted - all the decisions I had to make kept my mind of the cancer and focused on the wedding. I can't image how bored I would have been home all year doing nothing. I felt like I had a purpose, and that despite not working a full time job I was still doing something productive.

Essentially, the wedding was the thing that also got me really focused on getting into shape. Looks aside, I was worried that I'd be tired/weak the day of the wedding so I hauled ass and did some P90X and whipped my previous chemo bod into better health. I haven't looked back since either - I'm still eating clean and exercising a few times a week and feeling great.

The point, which will hopefully be the thing expressed most in the documentary, is that yes, getting breast cancer is shitty no matter your age or stage of life, but, it doesn't mean you have to put everything hold. It's really everyone's choice whether they want to have a positive experience or not. And it probably sounds crazy to say that going through cancer can be a positive experience, but if you percieve it all the right way, you'll realize that it can be.

Come on, imagine I cancelled it and missed experiencing this:

Photo by these incredible kids

BREAST CANCER MONTH, DAY 1: "I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS"

2010-10-01T14:33:00.000-04:00

October is breast cancer month and I thought I'd contribute somehow by blogging everyday. (Even though for me, every day is breast cancer day). Be it a piece of advise or a promotion or something. I really gotta get back into writing on this thing...

First order business, putting it out there that on Saturday October 23rd at noon the W Network will be airing a documentary called "I Don't Have Time For This," which follows five women (me included) and their breast cancer journey.

A film crew followed me during my treatments and wedding plans and explores the idea that just because you get cancer, it doesn't mean your life has to stop. I haven't seen the film yet, and haven't met or spoken with any of the other women in the doc, but, I hope that the message will come through loud and clear. Unfortunately more and more young women are being diagnosed but we still have our youth and lives to live. Go here to see a preview and I hope you'll tune in to watch the whole thing.

Also, please tweet and facebook the shit out of this because we haven't been given very much time to promote! @claudiainfusino please :)

HE'S SO FINE LIKE A TICKET ON A DASH

2010-09-03T14:07:00.000-04:00

I love this kid.

THE BODY MASTER

2010-08-27T09:27:00.001-04:00

Given I work at a bodybuilding magazine, I thought this was too cute. Came up on Design Milk this morning. It obviously disturbs me, to think of setting up kids for body image issues, but at the same time, it gives a sense that working out = fun which is a nice notion to instill at a young age. And at the end of the day, how cute would it be to see a little kid pretending he's going to get shredded? Sort of funny, no?

The Body Master by Zbigniew Libera

This is a project created by famed Polish artist, Zbigniew Libera, around 1994. The Body Master is a working child’s toy that replicates a body-building machine, but has paper weights. It obviously deals with cultural notions of body image, and with the less typically addressed male body. Created by an artist, it also raises the contested issue of who can create discursive design, and the boundary between the disciplines of art and design.

RECOVERED!

2010-08-24T09:24:00.000-04:00

Okay, so, since I screwed up my layout and fixed it in such a short amount of time, no one has probably even been here to see the mess I made, and the previous two posts probably make me sound crazy. Anyhow, I googled and saw that if I went under text Edit, I could revert back to the old blogger templates. Yay. Although I did loose all my colours that I chose. But like I've been saying, maybe it's time for a NEW blog? Public? Something to make me famous? Half kidding.

WHAT A TERRIBLE APPEARANCE

2010-08-24T08:44:00.000-04:00

W Magazine, September 2010 by Mert & Marcus

I wanted to post this gorgeous photo because I love the colours and it looks to me like Betty Draper wondering the streets, lost and alone, wondering why she ever left Don in the first place. Which is what she may very well be doing because she hasnt been on the last two episodes of Mad Men that I've seen (I have yet to watch the last episode though, so maybe she's in that one?) Anyhow, I feel gipped and hope to see her bitchy face soon. I still love her, even if she is the world's worst mother.

My point though, is that I forgot I messed up my blog layout and it's such an awful thing to wake up to :( How do I fix it?! I think they got rid of the old, classic blogger templates. Ugh.

MOTHER FACK

2010-08-23T22:14:00.001-04:00

SO, I basically accidentally hit some button on my design page for my blog - I'm working on my crappy PC in my basement, and after using a MAC laptop for so long I apparently don't know how to use it - and now I can't bring my blog back to life the way it was.

WTF.

And I'm too tired to get techy and try to fix it, so this will have to do.

Maybe a sign from the blog gods to start a new, public blog?

*sigh*

SO LONG

2010-08-22T21:41:00.000-04:00

As in, her hair was so long, but she said so long to it. So you see, my title if very efficient.

Anyhow, my sister-in-law Melissa had short hair when I met her, oh lets say, four and a half years ago. It was about chin length, maybe a little longer. The thing about her hair, is, okay, wait, lets make a list because there are many things about it:

1) she has the amount of strands that would make up at least three heads of hair
2) each strand is as thick as 15 strands of most people's hair. (okay I'm guesstimating here but you get the point)
3) it's shiny like a Pantene commercial
4) it grows like a weed
5) has never been coloured
6) has zero heat damage because she air drys it, even in the winter time when it's snowing outside

I mean, just look at it:

(This by the way is my favourite shot from all the shots Mil took of her on Friday, the night before she cut it off).

ANYWAYS, since I was growing my hair to donate, about two or three years ago I told her she should join me, since, her hair is the ideal candidate for hair donations. And so she did, and now it's gone. And soon it'll be in the hands of those Great Lengths people and they will sort it and clean it and make wigs out of it. Yay!

Lucky for her she looks just as good with it short as she does with it long.

Check out her version of the story and a handsome bird face creature and some more photos here.

SINCE I'M ALREADY BLOGGING...

2010-08-20T15:24:00.000-04:00

My blog is private, so those of you who read, have pretty well been reading since the beginning, and know that I used to blog a lot more. Now I'm lucky if I post something once a month. Why? you ask. Well this is why. I'm an old married lady now. And David doesn't like when I don't pay attention to him.

Kidding.

Between 1) renovating my condo 2) working one and a half jobs and 3) trying to have a social life, I'm swamped.

1) It's almost done. We painted (still have to do the bathroom but the bathroom is our final project), had the hardwood floors installed, built an Ikea Pax Wardrobe for the bedroom, our bed set arrived, we have our couches, bought a credenza for the tv (an antique from the 60's, I LOVE IT), and also found an antique secretary desk for my room (for my vanity - have you tried putting make up on in a tiny bathroom with bad lighting and a husband trying to brush his teeth? The attempt is futile.)

Outstanding:
- install kitchen (which is happening Thursday, yay!)
- order counter top (Jenna....!)
- purchase rugs, mirror for desk and bedroom wall, coffee table, light fixtures, lamps
- get Mil to print me some photos for our walls
- wallpaper samples
ETC. Imagine the shopping and sourcing and internet browsing all this takes. Oh yes.

2) Yes. I'm employed. And not only did I find myself a full-time permanent position working as Photo Coordinator/Editorial Assistant at Robert Kennedy Publishing's infamous MuscleMag, I also thought I'd be a star and take a part time gig as the assistant to Toronto's sweetest and best boss Chantel Simmons. Working for her was just too good an opportunity to pass up, so I thought I'd really catapult myself into the working world with full force. I'm loving it, to say the very least.

3) I'm a senior citizen now and am so tired I get to bed around 10:30pm. That doesn't leave much time to see my friends or watch Mad Men, but I do try. I exercise every morning so I need my rest. My days are long.

So, you see, who the hell has time to blog?!

Because this thing is private I also don't feel the need to update often, but I know I should. And I've been seriously considering making it open to the public but still feel a little odd about that. I don't know.

I do try to tweet and keep up with the rest of the internet world but it's hard. Maybe now that I'm a professional I should start another blog, something open and more serious. Who knows.

Anyhow, thats that. Just wanted to explain my neglect. Hope you're all doing well and enjoying the last days of summer, soon enough, it'll be snowing and dark at 3pm. Kiss the day the suns out!

THE PERFECT IMAGE

2010-08-20T15:03:00.000-04:00

Lara Stone in W, September 2010.
P-e-r-f-e-c-t-i-o-n.

It's hard for me to express what this photo does to me. There's something about the masculine and feminine blend, and the sharp, edgy tailoring with the cotton candy colours - everything is so well balanced. Even Lara's face, soft delicate styling on hard features, love it all. And of course, who doesn't love a bow tie? (I'm wearing a men's tie and dress shirt today. Yay.) This woman really doesn't disappoint. Pretty well every editorial she does is a show stopper.

See the rest of the editorial here.

As I always say about Lara, I just can't get over her.

THE TOGETHERNESS EXPERIENCE

2010-08-04T14:12:00.001-04:00

Last month, my non-blood-related-sister Jenna and her beau Bill, were legally wed at The R.O.M. The event was unlike any other I've ever been to. We had an incredible time - the food, decor, ceremony, attire, music, everything - just outstanding.

These are the beautiful gals of The Togetherness Experience. Jenna had all the headpieces made. Gorge right? And all the men wore traditional Scottish kilts - pretty sharp. (Amanda, I miss you. You looked so fantastic.)

You're not going crazy, that's Mil in there ;) What a babe, no?

I'm so happy for her - I LOVE YOU JEN! - and can't wait to move into my condo (end of this month, yay) so we can walk to each other's homes and go to yoga and meet up for ice cream and have Bill teach David Arabic etc.

I don't have a proper image of Jenna, but this is a pretty good idea of that dress.

Check out these videos from the Togetherness Experience. Oh yes.